Like You
by Unlegally Insane
Summary: Andromeda visits Bellatrix's grave, and a whirlwind of emotions are released. Songfic, oneshot. I am not proud of it, but I am not taking it down. Read at your own risk.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the song, not the characterers.**

_Stay low,  
Soft, dark, and dreamless,  
Far beneath my nightmares and loneliness._

Andromeda stood by the freshly dug grave. She knew she shouldn't be here. She knew that she shouldn't be at the grave of a murderer. She knew this person killed her precious daughter. Yet, still she was drawn here. She looked at the gravestone, cold black marble. Bellatrix Black Lestrange. Andromeda's older sister.

Her heart ached. How could she miss her? She had felt nothing all these years. She never missed her before. She hated her when she tortured the Longbottoms, when she killed Sirius. But now, as she lay in the ground, Andromeda began to miss her.

_I can't miss her_, Andromeda thought angrily,_ she is a murderer. A sadistic evil woman, who killed my daughter_. Somehow, the bond of sisterhood could not allow Andromeda not to miss Bellatrix.

_I hate me  
For breathing without you,  
I don't want to feel anymore for you._

Andromeda remembered her as a young girl, no more than eight, and how they used to play dolls. Bellatrix had a beautiful redhead doll, with sparkling green eyes. Its name was Jennifer Lily. Andromeda felt a smile crack her lips. _Bellatrix was always so nice to me letting me stroke her doll's soft velvet dress_. She thought back to the old days, before Hogwarts. The days when they were inseparable.

oooOOOooo

"Bella, Bella, wait up!" Andromeda cried, running behind her older sister. Bellatrix was eight, and Andromeda was only five. They raced through the house, trying to get to the attic. "Bella, I am not as fast as you!"

"Andy, it is okay. We'll meet up at the attic. I won't start the party without you." Bellatrix yelled, over her shoulder. Feet pounded on the hardwood floor, the only sound in the house. Finally, breathless and tired, Andromeda burst into the attic. There sat Bellatrix, arranging the dolls to her pleasure around a table.

"There you are, dear, Mrs. Wood and Mrs. Michaels have just arrived. Oh, I think I hear the door. It must be Mrs. Connors, would you be a dear and get it?" Bellatrix smiled kindly at Andromeda, who ran with youthful vigor over to the toy chest. Carefully, she got out _the_ doll. This was passed down for seven generations in the family. Her hair was black, with eyes made of sapphire and onyx. She wore a blue velvet robes, and a silver tiara. Cradling it in her arms, Andromeda set her down in a small chair. She and Bellatrix spent the next six hours playing with the dolls.

oooOOOooo

_Where did she go wrong?_ Andromeda mused, glancing from the corner of her eye at the grave. Andromeda racked her memories of their joint childhood, looking for a sign that thing would turn out the way they did. She couldn't find any.

_Grieving for you,  
I'm not grieving for you.  
Nothing real love can't undo.  
And though I may have lost my way,  
All paths lead straight to you._

Andromeda couldn't grieve for Bellatrix. She was mass murderer. She killed her child. But she couldn't repress the emotion. Tears spilled over her cheeks, plopping down on the fresh earth. Andromeda knelt next to the grave, hands covering her face.

"Bella, how could you? You stole my friends from me, you stole my daughter from me, and now you are stealing my grief. I can't feel anything for my Nymphadora, but you! I can feel for you. I can't look at a single grave without a connection to you. How could you? How could you do everything? How could you betray me? How could you leave me when I needed you the most? I stood up to Mother and Father, and you let me leave. You left me. I needed you Bella!

"You were such a good child. We loved each other so much. Did you remember, as you pointed your wand at my baby girl? Did you know you were a great-aunt, and killed that child's mother? Could you even feel? Did you conscientiously choose what you did?" Tears fell freely down Andromeda's face, as she sobbed put her confusion over the turning of Bellatrix.

oooOOOooo

"Andy, I have a secret to tell you." Bellatrix whispered in the dark of their room. They were nine and six, and closer than any other sisters, ever. They knew each other inside and out. Sometimes, they didn't even need to speak out loud to talk. "You know that Muggle boy who lives to houses down? We talked today! He is really funny."

"It sounds like you like him, Bella. Do you have a crush?" Andromeda asked, curious. Bellatrix was grateful for the dark, which hid her rapidly deepening blush. She made an affirmative sound. "That is so cool! What is it like?"

"Um… well, I just like him. Like more than a friend. I want to spend time around him. Does that make sense?" Bellatrix replied, a slightly dreamy sound in her voice. "He is so funny. His name is Paul. Isn't that a nice name? Paul Connor O'Reilly." They both giggled, before Bellatrix moved to sit on Andromeda's bed. They stayed up all night, talking, gossiping, and giggling.

oooOOOooo

"How could you change so much, Bella? Do you remember Paul, that Muggle you had a crush on? How could you go from liking one, to trying to kill all of them? It just doesn't make sense Bella. How could you do that to them?"

Andromeda sobbed harder, tears running in between her fingers, as she continued to rant. "You commit all these atrocities, but you still get to die. I know that once I die, I will be reunited with everyone. My dear friends that have been killed by Death Eaters, my Ted, my Nymphadora. You have the last escape I long for. I deserve it more than you."

_I long to be like you  
lie cold in the ground like you_

"Bella, all I want is to be dead. What is the point of living? I have no one. Teddy doesn't need me. Harry is going to raise him anyway, with Ginny. No one wants me. All I want is the cold escape of death. You have the last escape I want."

Without caring if anyone saw, Andromeda conjured up a bouquet of black roses. She left them on the grave. _Someone needs to remember her, even if she was a horrible person_.

As she walked away, Andromeda would swear she heard Bellatrix's voice whisper two little words. Words Bellatrix never said. I'm sorry.

oooOOOooo

The sun set over a lake, and three girls sat on a dock, red sky highlighting their black hair. Andromeda was in the middle, arms around Bellatrix and Narcissa. Bellatrix and she began to include Narcissa in their circle a few months ago, and she had woven herself in perfectly. They were a perfect blend of personalities. Bellatrix was the gently teaser, Andromeda was the conscientious student, and Narcissa was the lightning quick jokester. Together, they were unstoppable.

It was the last night before Bellatrix left for Hogwarts. They all were excited. Bellatrix had read all her textbooks already, with Andromeda and Narcissa eagerly awaiting the chapter summaries Bellatrix gave.

"Bella, are you nervous?" Andromeda asked, eyes never leaving the water. "Will you miss us?" Her voice choked up. "I am going to miss you so much!"

"Andy, I will miss you. I promise, I'll write every two days. I'll tell you about everything. My friends, my lesson and the teachers. I'll write all the gossip. It'll be like you are there with me." All the girls squealed eagerly.

They spent a few more minutes on the dock, dangling their feet into the water, before they returned to their house, to sleep soundly, awaiting a new chapter in their lives.

oooOOOooo

_Halo,  
Blinding wall between us,  
Melt away and leave us alone again.  
Humming, haunted somewhere out there,  
I believe our love can see us through in death._

As Andromeda picked her way through the graveyard, she felt so sad. She remembered the first time she noticed change in Bellatrix. She remembered when Bellatrix joined the Death Eaters. She remembered the look of disgust on Bellatrix's face when Andromeda announced she was marrying Muggle-born wizard.

_Why did we grow apart? We were so close. Same House in Hogwarts, so it couldn't be that._ Andromeda continued to muse on her differentiation from Bellatrix, until she bumped into Harry Potter. He was standing before Remus Lupin's, her son-in-law, grave.

"Harry, dear, I am so sorry." Harry looked up, his eyes bloodshot, and red-rimmed from crying. Everyone was a mess nowadays. "How are you holding up? It looks like you lost weight. Why don't you come over to my house for tea? I won't take no for an answer."

Harry attempted a smile, and managed to get pretty close. "Well, it is hard. I just need time to adjust. I am trying to decide whether or not I should go back to school. I mean, I want to get a full education. But, it would be hard, being in Hogwarts, with all the memories of the Battle. Every time I went to eat, I would relive killing Voldemort."

Andromeda nodded understandingly. "At least every time you look in the mirror, you don't see the face of a woman who killed your daughter." Harry winced. "I was just at Bellatrix's grave, actually. It is odd. I could cry over her, but not Nymphadora. I remember when Bella was just a sweet, good natured girl. How unsettling it is to see her grave in the Death Eater section, and reflect on everything she has done. When we were children, we planned to be buried together."

oooOOOooo

"…and a white marble headstone. We should have matching headstones." Bellatrix said, imperiously. Andromeda nodded, her brow wrinkled in concentration.

"Rose bushes, red roses around our grave stones. The petals will look lovely against the stone." Andromeda asked, tentatively, glancing at Bellatrix. Her face lit up at Bellatrix's bright smile.

"Andy, you are a genius! Red roses and white marble. It is so sophisticated. When we are old women, we will be buried in the height of elegance!"

oooOOOooo

With a loud crack, Harry and Andromeda Apparated to her house. They stood on the outside, looking at the pale stones for a moment. Then, Andromeda knocked on the door. Hermione opened the door, for she had been baby-sitting Teddy.

"Andromeda, you're back! Oh, Harry! I am so glad to see you! Are you staying for tea?" Hermione asked excitedly. "Did I show you the necklace Ron bought me?" Hermione and Harry chatted animatedly, while Andromeda listened, a smile on her face.

_I long to be like you,  
Lie cold in the ground like you.  
There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,  
I'm coming for you._

After Harry and Hermione left, she sat with Teddy on her lap. In his ear she crooned stories. Stories of his mother, his father, Wizarding tales, and Muggle tales. Even after he fell asleep, Andromeda continued to talk, until her voice was hoarse. She spoke of her hopes and dreams as a child, of the plans she and her sisters made. Of the close bond they shared.

Laying Teddy gently down in his crib, Andromeda walked to her own bed. She thought about how much Bellatrix's death had affected her. How she felt so lonely, and how she missed the old Bellatrix. Andromeda sighed.

"All I want is to see everyone again. Not in pictures. I want to see you all, in person. I want to die, so I may see you." Andromeda whispered under her breath. Sighing, she did a lot of that lately, she lay down, and tried to sleep.

She had a nightmare.

In her nightmare, Bellatrix stood before her, wand pointed at her heart. She was talking, saying how Andromeda betrayed her, by marrying a Muggle. As she screamed, her face grew older and older, until a wrinkled hag stood in front of Andromeda.

Then, it shifted, and Andromeda, Bellatrix and Narcissa were all ice-skating on a pond. The ice cracked, and Andromeda plunged into the water. She tried to swim up, and saw Narcissa and Bellatrix sealing the hole up, laughing.

In a panic, Andromeda woke up. She needed to sort through her feelings for Bellatrix, before it drove her mad. She needed to come to terms with her death. Andromeda feared for her sanity.

_You're not alone,  
No matter what they told you you're not alone,  
I'll be right beside you forevermore._

All Andromeda wanted was to hate Bellatrix. Hate her for the torture of the Longbottoms, for the death of Nymphadora. But she couldn't. She couldn't hate her. Deep down, she had always loved Bellatrix. No matter how hard she repressed her feelings, she loved her.

Bitter tears ran down Andromeda's cheeks. How can you love your daughter's murderer? She couldn't destroy her sisterly feelings for Bellatrix. She knew the girl she loved had died long ago, and mourned her passing. She wanted to miss the innocent Bellatrix.

It was the evil Bellatrix she didn't want to care about. How can you? But she did care for her. She couldn't help but care for her sister. If she was ever going to regret one thing, it wouldn't be loving her sister, evil or not. There is enough hate in the world. The love Andromeda felt so conflicted over, well, at least it wasn't hate. Hate tore the world apart, love mended it. Love is what Bellatrix needed.

_I long to be like you, sis.  
Lie cold in the ground like you did.  
There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,  
And as we lay in silent bliss,  
I know you remember me.  
I long to be like you,  
Lie cold in the ground like you,  
There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,  
I'm coming for you._

Andromeda fell back asleep, content knowing one of her weaknesses was she would always love her daughter's murderer. She would always feel conflicted due to that love. She could never forgive Bellatrix for doing everything, but she could still love her. She could love the innocent child Bellatrix used to be, and mourn the way she turned out.

But never again would she make this mistake. That night, Andromeda resolved to mend the gap with Narcissa. She didn't want this confliction with two sisters.


End file.
